Do you think you have the chops to be a successful satirical news writer? Do you enjoy making a small group of your peers laugh while simultaneously alienating large groups of people? Do you constantly find yourself people watching at Norris, wondering what cruel twist of fate brought together this many awkward people on one campus? If you answered yes to all of these then welcome aboard, you are officially a full-time writer for The Shmaily.

The Shmaily is always looking for new contributors because quite frankly, C.J. Pumpernickel has a life outside of fake news writing. So if you are either interested in writing articles for us or just want to throw some article ideas at us, feel free to contact us at contact@theshmaily.com.