Ever heard of The Onion? Yeah, we’re pretty much like them, but we focus specifically on Northwestern news and we don’t have a large team of qualified writers or national recognition. The Shmaily Shmorthshwestern is a place where sort-of funny Northwestern students who don’t have the chops for improv and didn’t quite make the cut at NSTV still have a platform to self-indulgently stroke their own egos. Right now we’re a scrappy team of at least two writers, but no more than six, and our names have been omitted just in case this is a miserable failure. Our staff will instead write under mildly amusing pseudonyms with absolutely no clever meaning behind any of them.
Just to be clear, every story, person, and quote on this site is completely and utterly 83% fabricated. This is strictly a satirical news source intended to bring the joy of laughter to the Northwestern population; a joy that sometimes gets lost amidst the 6-month stretch of shitty weather and general atmosphere of social awkwardness that pervades our great campus. We promise to deliver mostly fresh but occasionally stale daily content that pokes fun at all things Northwestern. We also strive to be the best student-run satirical fake news source that begins with an “S” and rhymes with “daily.” It’s not going to be easy, but when it comes to making up news, it never is.